Welcome to the second instalment of Single in the City and this has to be one of the quickest most dull dates I’ve had in my life…and that is saying something
Let me set the scene; I’ve had a super long week at work, it’s a cold Thursday night in October and I’m actually coming home to put my face on and head out to meet a guy for drinks…. on a school night too! This is not the one, I love nothing more than a cosy night in.
I had been WhatsApping this guy for a while. Everything seemed pretty perfect, a year older than me, a farm boy, really polite and seeming a genuinely good guy.
I head to the bar we planned to meet at – or so I thought. Only me, yes I was in the wrong place. But shout out to the two girls that adopted me until he arrived to get me. Honestly if I knew then how the date would go I would have happily stayed with these chicks all night.
“Dr Boarding School” has just finished being on call for the week so texts he’s running slightly late, this is fine. I’m happy with my glass of wine.
When he shows up, I catch his super posh accent (trying not to judge at first impression). We get drinks and head for a couple of cosy seats. He asks about my day and when I return the question I’m bombarded with medical Jargon that is never-ending… until FINALLY it does, with the words but I don’t want to bore you… Soz pal a bit late on that one. But its deffo written on my face by now…
Next up we are chatting about our childhood. And “Dr Boarding School” decides to tell me about the couple of beehives on the farm he grew up on. I, trying to get the convo on my level, laugh and jokingly say, “what kinda farm has beehives, they are supposed to have cows” which he then looks me dead in the eyes and with the most boarding school accent ever replies ” it was an arable farm actually, and was good for the honey although my mother didn’t like them much” – cue Shonz awkward face… no chat, greaaat.
Next up the accent chat is happening, according to Dr boarding school I being a Scottish Islander only sound Northern to him… aka anywhere North of Southern England. This dude has really just gone there… Insulted?! Very.
He then proceeds to ask my thoughts on his accent, which is obv you sound suuuuper posh…”Oh thats because I boarded from 8-18″ (tried to make a Wild Child reference… nope obviously he’s never heard of this film – does he even own a tv?! Unsure).
Cue me laughing at him telling me his plans to join the rowing club again… (V posh)
Adding to it more laughter (at him clearly) when he then tells me he has to get better from shoulder surgery after an accident playing cricket ( ANYYYY more posh son??!)
At this point I’m only an hour into this date, have I wasted makeup and looking cute to be out the flat an hour??! So I persevere and stay hoping things will improve..
Dr B School starts chatting about bad dates… is this a guy thing??? Like why are all the guys I see telling me about crap dates?! Are you hinting?!
Anyways Dr B School tells me he took a girl out from medical school and because she had zero eye contact with him it must have been ” a social experiment” I’m laughing, he is not… ohhh, he is serious. Whats this kid on?! I tell him I’m sure she would have shared the results if it were (this was said with total sarcasm) his reply is that it was deffo a social experiment. Okay you don’t catch social cues yourself then….
At this point I’m drinking my diet coke and wondering what I did in a past life to be in my current situ…time to whip out the excuse of work in the morning as a reason to leave…
I get the I had a great night text when I get home and decide maybe I give the guy another chance…. am I being over dramatic…
Mondays texting got rid of all doubts when I tell him my Sunday was spent hungover binge watching Haunting of Hill House for 10 hours solid (3 nights of drinking) and he replies oh my housemate and I ran up a mountain. Time for me to send that not suited text and leave it at that…
Anyways I’ve now decided I’m now looking for a rugby playing farmer – sounds the dream tbh.
Have you had any recent dating disasters?
Until Next Time,
Shona Marie xo
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